Children can be cruel, we hear it everyday. But, unless you've experienced hurtful comments or been a victim of bullying, you probably don't know that words are as painful as physical punches. Emotional and physical trauma are remarkably similar with the wounds left on the victims psyche. Many times the victim is targeted through no fault of their own ie: they wear glasses, have View posta learning disorder, a speech impediment, or something that makes them unique or different. The child has no control over such things- I know because I suffered for years with a chronic stutter that was so debilitating that my twin sister often had to speak for me because attempting to talk was such a difficult task. In fact, I didn't laugh on my own until I was in my teens. So self conscious of my own speech issues that I was often mute to mask my disability, my self esteem would also suffer for many years while I attended numerous speech classes to overcome the issue. I am an activist against bullying for numerous reasons and although you would never guess by looking at me, I'm a survivor myself! It's truly a tragedy that cyber bullying continues to affect children as young as 6 for being different? What happened to kindness? Childhood innocence? Teacher interaction? Parents are often completely shocked to realize their child has been skipping school to keep themselves safe from predators. My philosophy on bullying is and always will be to "punch a bully in the face" by either exposing them (social media gives a mask of anonymity to these predators but, the police can access the account and disclose the perpetrator) or, by contacting them directly. You see, what we as parents don't know is perhaps the greatest tragedy of all because if we were aware- we would most assuredly act quickly in order to protect our children. Many don't know that both my twin sister, Cindy Daniel and I lived at a shelter or, that my heroin addicted mother sold us for $50 each to go buy drugs at 6 years old. They also don't realize that we became the mothers we never had, the friends we've never known and the kind and generous strangers we've never met. How do some children overcome bullying and others do not? Perhaps because I was a twin and there were two of us, I would be able to rise above my deficiencies and move forward with a clear understanding of the effects abuse and name calling have left on my psyche. I would use my pain to push forward overcoming poverty by working several jobs at the same time. I would also be capable of becoming a chameleon, something of a transformation that protects me from be a victim. Cindy and I were both married to violent husbands and assumed (at the time) that every other woman was as well. Children learn what they live and, after enduring years of bane calling and physical injury, we finally removed ourselves from these marriages and moved forward. We are survivors- no one helped is out of these horrific conditions. Rather, we helped each other because God had gifted us with the strength and endurance we would need to overcome adversity. By outwardly appearing to be successful by smart purchases at area thrift stores, no one who worked with me had an idea that my secondhand outfits that appeared to be designer fashions gave me the ability to look accomplished and successful which is how I sold high end items, you see of others believe you are successful, they trust your opinion when making buying decisions. Perception is everything and due to my childhood I had realized that "looking successful" was key to being successful! You see, anyone meeting me in person would assume that I am self confident and, ironically even a little cocky, this is a personality that I can adept to within seconds of feeling insecure and, I'm very good at giving the impression of being unshakeable! I created Debt Survival Info after struggling through the real estate crash with my husband and enduring his job loss for three years taught me that many others were suffering across America and had no idea how to either repair their credit or worse, how to prepare an adequate defense to a debt lawsuit! The effects of default judgments and credit prevented these consumers from finding suitable employment. How could I change this? How could I help these strangers? How could I empower them? I decided the answer lay within myself and, spent three years reading every law book and article I could find that have me the information I needed to formulate a program that repairs consumer credit and more importantly accurately addresses the default judgment storm hitting courtrooms across the US. Default judgments on non served respondents destroy their credit and impede their ability to find work by scarring their credit. Debt Survival Info/Defending Debt Lawsuits LLC successfully educated consumers in 4 counties and, is the #1 accurate consumer information site on Google. By lobbying to change laws associated with third party debt collectors and addressing the issue of employment and credit- I've helped hundreds of families. Next, I decided to address the needs of families who could not afford a wedding, funeral, baptism, flowers or photos of their event by starting a unique business, Texas Twins Events. You see, I needed a "happy" company to overcome the sadness I had witnessed in hundreds of debt lawsuits. Texas Twins Events was created to give me a window to involve my twin sister and our children in my new business endeavor and spend more time with me. I've met so many wonderful people who were incredibly grateful for my help, my family has travelled with me on many events and, our children have learned the struggles of others. Becoming the person that I wish I had known has given me a gift of friendship, the capacity and determination to do more and finally, the ability to put my painful past behind me. No one meeting me would have an idea of the things I've endured or overcome. Neither would anyone meeting my sister. We hid our pain, knowing that by exposing the truth might leave us open to being hurt by exposing our weaknesses. When I began modeling, I had very little self esteem. However, I used my "trade show girl" persona to mask this and, was incredibly successful at doing this transformation both on the runway at style shows as well as in print and commercial ads. No one had any idea that I had overcome not only my stuttering but my insecurities by instantly becoming what I perceived my audience wanted me to be. A self defense mechanism that was self taught would help me become a top salesperson in any industry I worked within. Remarkably, Dr Harry Baker told me one day after three years of studying twins, that 5% of the victims who endure childhood trauma, sexual or physical abuse overcome and empower their psyche to survive and thrive. Sadly, others fall victim to drug abuse, alcoholism or, suicide. What made me different? Failure was never an option! I had a twin sister who relied on me, my son, my nieces and finally, my grand nieces, Maryssa and Makenna Mahaney. Starting two businesses to address the needs of less fortunate consumers became my way of giving back, educating and empowering others to overcome debt and credit issues and, having a beautiful memorial wedding or, religious ceremony. I've been questioned as to why I would create two diverse businesses and my answer is simple- I saw a need and decided to help others who needed my help. Giving back to my community has enriched my life and my community. Using my painful past to become more compassionate and empathetic to the plights of others to become the person that I wish I had met during my lifetime has made me a hero and savior to many who had no hope. My dream is that by touching the life of one that this person will reach back and help the person behind them and the chain will continue to grow and hope will change the lives of everyone it touches bringing empathy and passion back to communities. Kindness is free and, when needed so are my services! What can you do to help? Get out, get involved and find a need within your own community!
December 10, 2014