When you come to my home, I’m going to feed you whether you are  

 hungry or not, I love to cook!  That being said- cooking for my family is more of a challenge than you may think.  Everyone needs it “fixed the way I like it” well, the way I think they like it and their personal tastes are completely different than whatever I do.  Guests however, are gracious guests that never complain- God Love these wonderful visitors! 

While filming for several days at my home and on locations last month- breakfast and/or snacks and drinks were set out every day for the production crew because I pride myself on trying to accommodate everyone and, because no one complained ie: guests aren’t family, they appreciate you’re going to the trouble for them- my family is the exact opposite! 

For years I’ve told my family “it’s your favorite or, you love this.”  The problem is that they disagree with “I hate mustard” or, “I haven’t used ketchup for years.”

Humph- everybody in this family has to have something prepared differently ie: spaghetti with no meatballs, spaghetti with butter only, no mustard- only mayonnaise I could go on and on. But, I’m a friendly hostess who strives for perfection in accommodating everyone to a certain extent, including my family who for some reason are much harder to please than actual guests!

I serve meals promptly and while they are hot.  Trying to get this group to the table on time is an escapade in futility, they are almost always busy in every room of my home.  The tiny Texas Twins are either watching the Disney Channel, playing on their iPhones or on Instagram.  Cindy is either listing things on Ebay, watching Castle, Murder She Wrote or Matlock if not a CSI Show or, playing on her phone (of course.) My husband is either walking Foxy Wortham, fixing a martini or staying close to the kitchen since he likes his food hot.  Steve Daniel is either with the twins or walking Foxy (he loves taking my dog on excursions through the neighborhood that spoil Foxy into believing that every hour is a “walk time” rather than his 4 walk schedule at Wortham World.)  My son Robert and his wife, Stephanie Hafele are usually hanging out with Cindy, Leigh Ann or Stephaney Mahaney.  So, getting everyone’s attention after carefully making a “fresh pot of coffee” for Cindy Daniel who insists if it’s been brewed within the hour, “it’s old” is no easy task.  The wine closet/liquor area is open for highballs and, I draw the line at being the bartender since apparently, I’m not very good at it.  Occasionally, I feel like Ma Kettle looking for a dinner gong to get everyone’s attention but- I’ve become accustomed to my role around here.

Last week, my husband Matthew prepared dinner for Makenna who was spending the night and was quite pleased with himself that “he had made her favorite.”  Hmm, that’s MY LINE and, ironically, he got the answer that I’ve heard a thousand times too from sweet little Makenna “oh, I’m so sorry but I don’t eat chicken anymore.” Shocked- we both looked at each other and my husband proceeded to cook three more meals until he found the correct blending of items to suit Makennas tastes.  I informed him that he was spoiling one of our little twins and he informed me “why not?” Isn’t it our job to spoil the children and send them home is his motto.

Mealtime is complicated around here and often with hilarious results that no one could have expected. My twin often tells me that “it smells like it don’t want to be eaten” when I’m preparing salmon or trout. Occasionally, she throws in her usual “that coffee is so old that it could stand up and jump into this cup!” Complaining that it is over one hour old, we can’t go to a restaurant without the server being questioned at length as to the timeline of brewing cofee which embarrasses me to death.

A few months ago, Nick Lee and David Diaz flew in from Good Clean Fun TV to scout locations with Cindy and I.  Of course, being good Texans, we offered to pick them up and drive them to the rental lot.  If you’ve ever been to DFW Airport- it’s complicated, always under construction and the trams often don’t run on time.  Imagine my horror when realizing that I had dropped them off at the return and they hopped into a Mini Cooper with a stranger who offered to drive them to the pick up portion of the building (several blocks away) while Cindy and I watched helplessly from across the lot! I’ve gotta tell you that these two California Executives impressed the heck outta me and Cindy for “squeezing right into a strangers car!” #amazing

They still joke about us “picking them up at the airport.” Oh well, I tried. I can’t help it if everything at DFW is continually in a different place! Greeting guests at the airport has always been important to me to welcome them to Texas, normally though, I bring them home with me.  My neighbor is a limo driver and available if you should need a lift from someone who is much better at the airport than I am.

When heading to events, Wortham World is termed “Location Central” meaning everybody meets here and leaves from here.  Normally in my suv but, if we can’t all fit, in both mine and Cindys SUVS.  Just try getting everyone and everything loaded ON TIME around here! Good grief, there’s a reason they call me “Captain” or, “Fearless Leader.”  I’m a whip cracker and tardiness is never tolerated for any reason at any time, loading up is like leaving for a trip- everything must be in a certain order and place.  Everyone must have already gone to the bathroom, packed extra batteries for cameras, bottled water, flowers if we are providing them, where are the tiny Twins? Who has the car keys? It’s like the Three Stooges! “What do you mean you need to borrow a jacket? Shoes? Purse? Dress?”  Everyone is always “borrowing” from one of my closets and I never see the items return.  Because of this, I’ve installed log books with descriptions of the items that include dates, events and times of borrowing that are similar to a library.  Hey, I had to buy all of this stuff no one “loaned” it to me not expecting to never see it again! 

By the time everyone is finally loaded, my husband is so relieved to have the house back to himself for either the golf channel or NASCAR, you can see it on his face. He’s watched us leave Location Central for hundreds of events and, he’s always happy to see the SUVS leaving on the video monitor too.  He excitedly waves at us from the balcony while silently wiping the sweat from his furrowed brow.

Road trips and rest areas only add to the drama.  When leaving Wortham World, I exchange my roll as a hostess for one of a drill sergeant.  Who goes shopping at truck stops? Cindy Daniel. If my sister is missing for more than ten minutes at a “pit stop” she’s found “something the twins must have!” This happens all the time and, the twins have closets that take up 2/3 of the Daniel DivaDiggs and, 1/3 of Wortham World! The twins have accessories for everything and must be “photo ready” at all times.  Never mind that Cindy and I look like a truck drug us into town- those twins are always dressed to impress.

When we arrive at a hotel, I find a small area in order keep my items from becoming lost in the circus and somehow my small area is always “taken over.” Organization and structure fly right put the window during Travels of the Texas Twins! 

For a person who prides herself on punctuality, organization and a curriculum- it’s no small wonder that I haven’t had a nervous breakdown travelling  the world three times.

Last year at a Christmas Party for Good Clean Fun TV, the luggage containing evening attire for Cindy and I was misplaced after changing hotels. As the clock ticked and my apprehension grew over the remote possibility of being tardy for an event, I used a hair tie to fasten a gown that needed a strapless bra I didn’t hane since it was with the evening dress I had planned to wear in the “lost luggage” and, no panties! Cindy could not locate her #1 fashion favorite 360 degrees of slim girdle and without it her gown was so tight she was afraid to sit down while I was afraid to bend over and have my breasts pop out of my “rigged” gown or worse, stand in front of a well lit area without a slip or panties on!  A “roving photographer with a flash” came by several times to photograph my sister and I whilst I struggled to either be standing against someone or sitting down to spare myself of a “sheer Peek a Boo” and, Cindy situated herself precariously to prevent a seam “busting out.”  To say we were uncomfortable would be an understatement.  

The following morning, the bellman “located” our missing bag with strapless bra, girdle and perfectly orchestrated items that I had spent two days accessorizing to wear to the Christmas Party.  Did anyone know? No, we wing it really well my friend.  When you spend as much time as I do organizing items prior to a departure and the ONE BAG you are depending upon comes up missing- it’s chaos! 

Lesson learned- next time I will separate items into several bags so that if one comes up missing, at the very least, we will have a few items to work with around here.

While goofing off at the Santa Monica Pier prior to a day of pitch meetings in LA with our team from Good Clean Fun productions, I tripped over a curb stop and accidentally broke my foot answering a call from my son. Rather than alarming anyone from the production team, I “carried on” dragging my foot and did okay through the first meeting although the pain and swelling were beginning to “rattle me.”  By the time we made it to the afternoon meeting at Lifetime, I was in so much pain I could barely walk into the conference room so, Cindy “gut punched” me to get my attention.  

Limping out of the meeting I asked my sister why she had backhanded me “well, you were being boring and I thought I would snap you out of it and give you something else to think about and oh,  you’re welcome!”  Although it pains me to admit it- I was focused on the throbbing pain rather than the important meeting at hand and after nearly knocking me out of my chair, my twin had effectively “brought me into the moment.”  Twins are like that, you know when something is amiss and you usually also know how to fix it.

Modeling at a fashion show at the Dallas Apparel Market after pulling three racks of clothing, I exhaustedly walked right off the runway and broke my leg. My dresser, Hahn Gilbert panicked that I wouldn’t finish the show and would forfeit my pay and, alternately hers too.  I got my leg set and went right back to work finishing the evening and, selling more to the buyers table I had fallen on earlier! I guess no one had ever returned after breaking a bone?  I’m a little different.  Yes, I’m determined, I’m resilient and, I’m a warrior! I don’t call in sick and I do not let anyone counting on me down.

I’m a “show must go on” type and, no one at Lifetime or, Good Clean Fun was aware there was an issue with my foot or anything else at that meeting except of course, us.  You see, had anyone been aware of it, they would have worried or made a “big deal” about it and, that meeting was far more important to myself and my sister than a foot that could easily be repaired at a later time. 

Later that night- my twin used a steak knife to cut my shoe off.  This made us “even” because when we had flown in earlier to meet with GCF, Cindy had suffered a broken tailbone from a fall at Gaylord Texas Resort.  

I told her not to bring a cane for the filming of the sizzle reel for The Pawning Planners fearing they would think we were “old ladies.”  She was lit about it and laughed her head off about me stumbling through a layover in Houston while trying to carry all the luggage myself.  Walking ahead of me, she noticed there was a problem when several men came running past, both my boobs had “popped” right out of my top! She actually laughed about this “incident” on the sizzle reel! So, you’ve probably figured out that I should have let her bring that dang cane because she will never let me live it down Ya all.  I had somersaulted while holding all the carry on luggage and came right out of my shirt.

Had I known she really needed that cane for balance, I would have never told her not to bring it.  I didn’t fully comprehend the difficulties of a broken tailbone.  There are many but, trooper that my twin is, no one knew she had a broken tailbone, none bruised ankle or multiple contusions from her fall- we (as usual) just “rolled with it.  We have never “backed out” on a commitment to anyone in our entire lives and are too old to start now.  Our word, our promise, and our commitment supersede any issue.

Cindy is a picky eater but, she isn’t too picky to often invite homeless people to dine with us on my tab.  This happens with regularity to such an extent that we have “code names” for the “incidents” and players involved.  My sister loves to “wing it” how I haven’t been robbed yet remains a mystery- she will trust anybody while inviting them to “jump in” to my rental car.

Years ago, I hosted holiday meals that were never served on time to a family who were “doing all the other relatives.”  Getting in line for my perfectly served holiday guests became “too much.”  Im now learning to “wing it” after my sister informed me that going to the movies was much more fun than holiday meals- I agree.  After all, the new movies come out at Thanksgiving and Christmas. #score 

Although many people think I have a sense of humor that is rarely expressed, they are wrong.  You see, with this family- you’d better pack a sense of humor everyday because with the Pawning Planners/Texas Twins Events Team, you are going to need it!

My family and my team all have a great sense of humor and, laughing at their unique attributes can certainly calm my frazzled nerves when overcoming any obstacle placed before me.

PS- Michael, if you’re wondering why I’m not writing blogs on Texas Twins Events, I couldn’t get the PW to work on my new phone 🙂 I need an easy one thanks 😃