Identical twins fascinate many folks for many reasons. I’m often asked if “we do everything together?” The answer is often yes because I’m comfortable with my twin, Cindy Daniel. We understand each other in many ways that our husbands do not understand us.
Our Mini Me Twins, Maryssa and Makenna Mahaney have a similar issue with friends at their school because they prefer the company of each other to their friends. They have “lost” a few friends who could not or would not accept them as a team and wanted to be friends with “only Maryssa” or, “only Makenna.”
Explaining to The Little Pawners that a twin is a special gift that can understand you better than anyone else can be a challenge. Twins and multiples often live in a bubble of fear that friends, prospective spouses and their inlaws or outlaws will “bash” the unique relationship that they can never understand.
This was an issue with both my sister and my own first marriages to controlling spouses and their mothers who did anything they could to “separate us.” Calls and visits from my twin were made uncomfortable for my sister and myself due to the jealousy of a relationship with her that my husband deemed a “strange addiction.”
Simply because others are jealous or insecure regarding the unique attributes and associations of twins pushes many twins to other twins on social media circles who can relate to their obstacles with personal relationships.
We also love to look at photos of other twins and compare the similarities and/or the differences and discuss it with our friends. Overcoming issues of health and the loss of a twin to an unexpected death is such a horrifying concept among twins that there are well established grief groups that deal with specific issues to twins that traditional siblings with the ability to “deal with the loss of a sister or brother” would never understand. The fear of losing your mirror image is very real among twins and often a “taboo subject” that we never discuss.
Maryssa and Makenna watched a morning talk show featuring The Glass Twins who are social network connections on both my sister and my own Instagram and FB sites.
Twins compare themselves to other twins on a regular basis and, The Glass Twins have apparently become well known for behavior that other twins find “over the top” and even, “weird.”
Sharing a boyfriend? Measuring each other’s food? I discussed this with my sister who (along with me) is struggling with menopause and midlife weight gain and we both agreed that The Glass Twins who have never been apart for any length of time have gone “way over the top!” Although we are both starting a diet together we would never “measure each other’s food or drinks.”
With twin friends all over the world, the Glass Twins topic is “hot.” Everyone is concerned that those who are not twins and multiples will identify and assume ALL TWINS are weird, eccentric and kinda crazy.
This is what the basic perception of twinning is NOT about. Sharing your life, your feelings, your business and your children with each other is normal with twins. Measuring each other’s food? Not normal.
Sharing a mate? This is unacceptable for any traditional twin and crosses every boundary. I had a lengthy discussion with our ten year old twins in order to clarify that “odd” or “out of the ordinary” relationships such as the one The Glass Twins described could cause harm and/or lifelong issues for twins. Sharing a friend? You bet, Cindy and I have mutual friends as do the little twins who accept our close ties.
A twin deal breaker is for anyone to “hit on” the other twin who is courting or married to their counterpart. I believe that speaking to children who see a program on national TV and might assume that such outrageous claims of “sharing everything” can give children the impression that it’s acceptable. While I am not one to normally judge others, as a twin myself, I found some of the things discussed with The Glass Twins to be so unbelievable and odd- that a discussion with our Little Pawners and my own twin took place immediately!
While our current husbands are polar opposites in personality and attributes, so are my twin and I. I’m an organizer, I’m a perfectionist. Cindy is a good time Charlie and fun loving sidekick who often is too busy having fun to worry with “the big picture.” She doesn’t have to- I do for both of us. I also order for us at restaurants and hear her complaints because she can’t make a decision and I might be somewhat impatient. However, we’ve been this way as long as I can recall and, I suspect it won’t change anytime in the near future.
Maryssa Ann orders for Makenna Marie at restaurants and, ironically, Makenna is my Mini Me. Changing roles with twins comes and goes as part of the intricate patters of compensating personalities. You see, if I’m not feeling well or overwhelmed, Cindy “takes charge.”
Rearing my son and Cindys daughters was a “sharing” of sorts between us mainly because we were both single parents for an extended period of time. All three of the older children ask both of us the same questions, issues or problems prior to making life choices or, when arguing with their spouses. Sometimes our answers are remarkably different and, Cindy and I argue over “what’s best for them.” We don’t argue often- perhaps once or twice every five years and it’s normally something completely insignificant and minor. We’ve never had a “deal breaker” argument and, I suspect we never will because our relationship supersedes anything else in our lives and, together we are a super team!
Creating a wedding business years ago after realizing how economically challenging for low to middle income families weddings and event services are, I naturally involved my twin. I was thrilled that our young twins wished to play a part and later, the older children as well.
Throughout our lives, my twin and I have always “banded together” to overcome many life issues from violent relationships to poverty to reach back and save anyone struggling with the same paths we’ve painfully survived.
Every parent wants their child to have a beautiful ceremony. Why should economics prevent them from carrying out this wish? I decided over a year ago to merge Texas Twins Events with my other passion, Texas Twins Treasures upon realizing that even my reduced rates were unreachable for several North Texas Families. Refurbishing old antiques, broken jewelry, farm equipment, old toys and other odd “swaps” “flips” or “trades” I effectively found a unique window to take trades for ceremonies, services, flowers, decorations, photography and anything else to achieve a Dream Event along with my Texas Twins Team by creating The Pawning Planners.
Two sets of twins in a business that makes dreams come true? You bet baby- it’s twinning! You don’t have to be a twin to understand who I am or where I’ve been to understand my passion and my perseverance but, because I am a twin, I have the strength of a unique friendship that overcomes any issue and affords me an opportunity to spend time with my twin, our little twins and our older children that I might not have ever enjoyed had I not began “thinking outside the box.”
Our Little Pawners have yet to take an interest in boys but, you can bet when they do that The Texas Twins, Wendy Wortham and Cindy Daniel will offer suggestions and insights to ensure that our young twins do not make the mistakes we did when choosing our first husbands and show them the path of “red flags” when issues of jealousy regarding their twin “pop up.”
Every parent wants their child to have a happy and healthy relationship and hopefully, it will be one that last a lifetime and of course, I will officiate the ceremony, prepare the bouquets and my Texas Twins Events/Pawning Planners Team will be alongside me to orchestrate it.
Twinning, you don’t have to be a twin but, if you are I hope you cherish everyday with your unique mirror image and know that no one “gets you” better than your twin.
Comments by Wendy Wortham