Every day I receive one request or another for help from acquaintances on social media sites. After a lifetime of helping others, it has come to my attention that often my “dropping everything” to address the needs of everyone else can sometimes be and in fact has been, never enough to “feed the sharks” so to speak.
You see, for a softhearted person like myself and my twin, Cindy Daniel, there have been more than a few times that our generosity has been taken advantage of- a sad but accurate event that often occurs when others view you as a “pushover.”
My work week runs 7 days a week, rain, snow or shine. Cindy and I have both been to our primary Care physician 3 times in the past two weeks for sinus and ear infections which most assuredly has done little for our stamina on a jam packed schedule which doubles during the holiday season due to volunteer commitments and, sadly that allows no time for us to disappoint anyone to whom we have made a prior commitment.
Herein lies the problem, for you see it is my husband that fears for my health and questions my ability to continually take on more commitments to address the needs and, empower the less fortunate when forsaking my own needs.
Although, I normally shrug off such innuendo- yesterday and even today, my body is weary and because of this, I must pull back and focus on business and family prior to volunteer commitments. This upcoming year will be a time I must now focus on new commitments and “teach those who continually rely upon my generous spirit to learn how to fish” per Mr Matthew Wortham.
The requests often range from needing clothes to start a new job “Wendy, I saw several items on your eBay store I need. Can I come by your house and get them, I have nothing to wear?!” You see, the no good deed goes unpunished applies more often than not for me. Now, this person tells someone else that I’ve given them this or that and yet another person needs or wants something!
The problem is:
1. Any charitable act by myself or, by my sister, Cindy Daniel comes out of our pockets ie: we must end an a auction on an item we could have sold to earn income
2. We do not have sponsorships or accept donations to find our numerous causes or, the unexpected request from someone who is aware of our charitable deeds
3. I donate my time and my services as well as my floral designs to NEEDY families- not families who are certainly able to afford them. You see, at some point the issue of earning money rather than simply doing everything for free is a valid point often made by my husband, Matthew Wortham who is shocked at some of the requests I receive
4. Ironically, many families assume that every Christmas I will fill the void of gifts or food for their holiday meal and, this list continues to grow every year
5. When I can and often when I can’t, I overextend myself and am too exhausted to be of good use to my own family
6. I’m often the first phone call rather than the last when someone is asking for financial assistance, business services or, simply “giving away” my own personal possessions to fill someone else’s needs
7. Items I own were purchased by me or accepted in trade and whichever the case may be, I wasn’t “given” these items without some form of payment to possess them
8. Although numerous charitable organizations exists, it becomes apparent that those seeking my assistance are often too lackadaisical to seek assistance from someone else prior to contacting me
For these reasons, as well as numerous others I shall choose not to address, the word no will be used by me with much more frequency than in the past. At my age, I must focus on my future and on my family.
While helping others is and always will be very important to myself and my sister, we will start our new year “cutting loose” the opportunists who apparently never have time to contact us unless they need something of us in order to properly assist those who actually need our help.
Wishing our family and friends all God’s Blessing on this Christmas Day in Fort Worth, I’m exhausted from yesterday’s last minute emergency call for a wedding officiant and, delivering gifts to 9 families who contacted me stating they had no gifts for their children or, food for a holiday meal. You see, I drove over 327 miles to accommodate everyone else’s needs other than my own and was unable to spend time with my own family preparing our holiday meal or even wrapping gifts for my family as I had to go out and buy the gifts to give to these families and while I enjoy helping others, it’s time for me to slow down and enjoy the time I have to spend with my own family. My work schedule is hectic at best and additional volunteer efforts on my part had left me with virtually no time for either myself or my own family.
Wendy M Wortham
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