My husband hates to shop, in fact he dislikes it to such an extent that for most of our marriage I’ve purchased his clothing, socks and underwear myself for him. He thinks I’m a “perfectionist” ie: I believe that perfection CAN be achieved and, moreover, that IT SHOULD BE. This belief causes all types of issues with the team and my family who often think my ideas and idealists are “over the top.” Although my husband might agree- he would never admit it!
Today he looked up perfectionist on his iPhone, what he found was shockingly similar to my characteristics.
“You aim to be the best at everything, you spend too much time to perfect something and sacrifice sleep, eating and anything else down to the last minute to “perfect” it. You set absolute ideals- there is only black and white, no grey. You are the harshest critic of yourself. If something goes wrong you beat yourself up about it to the point of being neurotic. You mull over the outcomes if they did not turn out as you had envisioned. You wonder why it didn’t go planned and whether you could have fixed the problem. You are defensive towards criticism and have a fear of failure because they “suggest” imperfection. You have an all or nothing approach.” I laughed at this list because (don’t tell anyone) this list describes me more than I care to admit! Go figure?
At some point over the past 3 years, Matthew Wortham began “dropping hints” that he only likes a “certain type of sock” or, “there are different types of Calvin Klein underwear and I know which type I prefer.” Hmm, perhaps the “type” he’s talking about is the previous purchases that I’ve made for him?
Oh well, I’m not going to argue over his desire to shop for himself, after all, I’m fairly busy myself and Heaven forbid he might assume that I am “bossy, controlling or a Captain at WorthamWorld.” For obvious reasons- this couldn’t be further from the truth! Although, I do have strong opinions regarding many things and voice them on a daily basis, I do not find myself to be either bossy or controlling. Quite the opposite- I find myself to be fun loving and easy going although some might disagree due to my OCD issues.
After all, I’m the perfect hostess, housekeeper, organizer and chef aren’t I? Do I not ensure that his clothing is washed and dry cleaned on a weekly basis with fresh towels every morning? Of course however, my husband along with my family assume (incorrectly, of course) that I am bossy and rule my roost with “an iron fist.”
My husband would never admit to me that I’m bossy and today while shopping with him I asked him why I was not buying his clothing as of late, after all don’t I have good tast? Fashion sense? Knowledge of fabric and care of his attire?
His answer was somewhat baffling “of course, no one has better taste or makes better decisions than you do my dearest, however today I’m seeking something in between jeans and dress slacks.” I have good taste but I’ve missed purchasing something “in between?” Ok, now I’m dying to know what this “in between” must have wardrobe item must be!
Watching my husband “shop” requires patience for he’s incredibly picky regarding the weight of the fabrics, the pockets, the stitching, etc.
Bored, I set out to view the shoes and purses while he skims the departments. I find an interesting assortment of men’s attire that I presume is casual and locate him still in the men’s department empty-handed. I wonder if I’ve hit the “in between” items correctly?
As I approach wondering if I’ve found the “something different” he’s seeking with linen trousers and lightweight khakis he turns and says “I’m not really sure what I’m looking for mainly because most of these styles could be unisex.” He’s right you know with skinny slacks and tattered jeans, my “always appropriately” dressed husband has no idea what current fashion styles are and, even if he did he wouldn’t be comfortable wearing them. He takes my items to the fitting room and chooses two pairs of pants and two polo type lightweight tops in festive hues that I’ve chosen for him. My husband is color blind and often asks if his attire “matches” prior to departing WorthamWorld.
As we leave and head to lunch at Charlestons I ask if he prefers to continue shopping for his own clothing since this is “new” to our old marriage. “No, you have excellent taste and I was just wondering if at my age I should be dressing like an old man.” Good Heavens! Certainly not I told him and, if you were dressing in Sansabelt slacks, I would be the first to inform you that they were far too “old” for your attitude and your personality. My husband doesn’t go “without” a belt even while relaxing at home- proper attire is his trademark.
I try to tell my son how to dress but, my opinions on his clothing fall upon deaf ears. His birthday was July 10 and, he informed me he was getting either a tattoo or piercing- horrified I called my twin and begged her to talk him out of tattoos and piercings! It is not something of which I approve but, at 25 I’ve lost my “control” over my sons choices. Too many years of private school uniforms and my clothing options sent my son over the edge with my fashion advice and, I’m hoping to “reel him back in” any day now! However, should you be reading this blog my dear son, when you are ready for a plastic surgeon to repair your guages, your mother has found the perfect person to repair them. I don’t understand the tattoo “trend” nor the piercing of young people these days and find some of the locations to be shocking at best and terrifying at worst where is everyone’s mother while all of this “body art” is going on?
After lunch, I make a leisurely stroll through DSW shoes as I’m always on the hunt for something unique and more importantly, on sale! After spending years unable to afford to buy new items it is still difficult for me to “pay retail.” I pride myself on “saving a buck!”
It quickly became apparent that all the purses were “average” in fact, I’m wondering if the same designer styled all of them with straps too short and colors too boring because for me, I find nothing unique and worthy of spending our hard earned money on.
Where are the exotic rich and luminous styles of the 80s? Quirky and fun, outrageous and stand alone Python prints, alligator embossed styles I’m searching for? These days everything has a Michael Kors logo and they all look bland and boring. It is rather well known that I won’t “deck myself out with brand names in order to advertise for someone who isn’t paying me to honor their brand.” Why should I? I find the entire Michael Kors handbag thing somewhat confusing with an M and K boldly blazed across the entire handbag. While Louis Vuitton started such a trend, it is a well made product and one of my sisters go to favorites that earned the recognition of being a statement accessory much like a fine watch or diamond ring, a Louis Vuitton is a timeless treasure.
The Little Pawners must be picture perfect at all times as my sister (who ironically thinks I’m bossy is equally as OCD regarding the twins) Cindy Daniel would “lose it” if one hair were astray on these girls. At all times they have the perfect outfit, the perfect accessories and the perfect hair bows!
As I’m leaving DSW without a purchase since nothing “popped out” with unique attributes to me. I shop quickly wherever I am and rarely slow down unless something that is “like a rare stone in a sea of sand” catches my eye.
Back at my SUV, Matthew Wortham has been people watching and describes a woman who pulled up so quickly and ran into the shoe store that one would assume “she had only 5 minutes to live and wanted to spend them buying a pair of shoes!” Bahaha, my husband doesn’t understand that the woman most likely had an engagement to attend and had purchased a dress or ensemble not considering her shoes or handbag- it happens.
Shopping with my husband is as usual, always interesting and although he would like to buy his own clothing, I “help” with the decisions not because I’m bossy or controlling rather, because I take great pride in his appearance and do whatever I can to ensure he never leaves WorthamWorld in jogging pants and sandals or a well worn tshirt since I often see others “out and about” in ensembles that would be far better suited to washing a car or a boat rather than eating in a nice restaurant. I often wonder if visible bra straps with sleeveless tops has become another “trend?” Tattoos on your neck and breasts? How is this attractive? I don’t “get it.”
Oh well, perhaps their wife or mother was too busy to give them a few tips on what not to wear? I can only wonder my friends and gasp that shaving and combing your hair along with the tattered tshirt and torn shorts with a stain splattered across the chest was somehow not apparent when a fellow shopper at Dillard’s left his home this afternoon on a lazy afternoon in Fort Worth where casual has gone so far beyond khakis that I’m often wondering if wearing any clothes at all will be next?! Meanwhile, at WaMart, most shoppers are certainly heading towards nudity with odd choices that have the body art to “accessorize” their attire.
I will try to keep my face from displaying a look of dismay and/or shock which may be difficult for me since my face normally “says it all” to such an extent that I may “give my thoughts away” ya all.
Wendy M Wortham